The Least Gross Thing in Riverside County: Exploded Yogurt, Curdled

Downtown Riverside Metrolink Station

Three days a week I leave my house at 5:30am to catch a subway that takes me to Union Station in downtown L.A., so that I can take the Metrolink to Riverside where I teach English Composition and attend classes as a graduate student. Last year I lived in Riverside, which is one of the most depressing cities I've ever seen. People might tell you Riverside is bad and you might think, nah, it can't be that bad. Trust me. It is. At the Metrolink station this morning as I was waiting for the bus to take me to campus, I spotted this nice cluster of yogurt smears about three feet from the trashcan. Why would someone be bothered to throw their yogurt in the trashcan when they can just leave it on the sidewalk? So, as I was waiting for the bus my bladder began to fill up and I knew I wouldn't make it 20 more minutes (which is how often those buses run). The station doesn't have a bathroom, but it does have a port-a-potty stationed at the corner of the parking lot. Okay, I know port-a-potties are gross in general, and I know I should've expected Riverside's to be especially gross, but I had no idea the violent gagging that was in store for me as soon as I opened that door. I thought that if I were truly dedicated to all things gross in and around L.A., I would've pulled myself together, whipped out my phone, and snapped a photo of the gruesome scene inside that port-a-potty. Alas, I will not even try to explain to you what I saw. Just know that some rotten yogurt on the sidewalk looked like nectar from the gods after what I saw all over that toilet seat.