Seven Piles of Gold

Near Sunset Junction, Silver Lake/East Hollywood
(photo courtesy of Sarah Grant)

There are a few of us in the world who are very concerned with what's happening at the Offering Circle these days. Since I no longer live on Lexington near Virgil, I send out scouts to spy on the contents of the Circle. Sarah Grant, who often works on all her smarty-pants anthropology of food scholarly stuff at Intelligentsia, is one such ranger. Unfortunately there were no treats in the Circle the last time she went to check, but she did find this beauty: seven shiny piles of shit. There is so much shit in that neighborhood that I rarely photographed it, but I think this strip of shit-covered grass indeed deserves credit. There's so much shit that at the vanishing point of this scene I believe there is one barely visible tiny pile of shit, marking eternity as refuse.

For any Angelenos who want to check on the Offering Circle, please do and email photos to me at grossstuffinla@gmail.com. The Circle is on the north side of Lexington just west of Virgil in East Hollywood.

Pig 'N a Puddle

6th and Grant, Denver

This delicate saucisse was out for a stroll under the winter moonlight, rolling over fresh piles of soft, pristine snow, when it thought it saw from afar a hand to hold (it). As this salchichita approached the buzzing lights of the Blockbuster, it realized what it had seen was only an illusion of hope, of love. Before it could scream, it was grabbed by the glimmering teeth of a Golden Retriever and ripped apart. As it lay dying in an icy patch by the dumpster it thought back on its short but full life, and it regretted only one thing. "I have loved," it thought. "I have laughed. I have gazed upon the lights of a refrigerator, a freezer, and briefly, now, the moon. The only thing I regret is that I never had a chance to feel the cool water of the ocean on my intestine casing. I never learned to swim." Well, little buddy, you're swimming now. You're swimming now.

Poop-a-roni

West Wash Park, Denver

...the San Francisco treat! Except, this pile of gross isn't from San Francisco, it's from my very own kitchen here in Denver, Colorado. What started out as a tasty, if fattening, Japanese Javanese Curry (confused? see the photo below), ended as a pile of one of the grosser things I've left sitting on the table over night. And why are there so many pieces of silverware on the plate? I confound myself, sometimes.

Bangkok Condom Canal

Near Wat Borommaniwat, Bangkok

Here we have another special photo from Southeast Asia, this one from Luke Schmidt, scholar of Thai Buddhist temple murals. Bangkok is a great city. It really is. Some people give it a hard time, calling it the armpit of Thailand, saying you should leave Bangkok as quickly as possible on a north or southbound bus. These are probably the same people who hate L.A. because they've never gotten out of their cars to actually walk around in the perfect weather. They may also be the same people who live in Boulder and hate Denver. Or, they may be people who just hate the Gross. I understand. The Gross can be tiring, I'll admit it. One of the reasons I started this blog is to form a more peaceful relationship with the Gross. I was irritated at how disgusting human beings are, but instead of wallowing in my disgust, I embraced that part of human nature and now I write about it and photograph it. Digression! Sorry. Anyway. Condoms. So if you look closely at this photo you'll see lots of little rings floating in the canal. Yep. These are condoms. Lots and lots of condoms. Was it a Bangkok orgy? A disgruntled prostitute dumping out the contents of her purse? A creepy old American guy, doing creepy old American guy things?